tis the season..

when was it that you realized that santa wasn't real? oh, you still haven't? me either, carry on...

remember when you were convinced of how real he was? i specifically recall one instance in the third grade (funny how i can remember this and not remember what i ate yesterday) in which my belief system was tested. one of my classmates, a very cool, well-dressed, had the newest nike jordan's kinda kid was telling a group of us that santa wasn't real. "oh he's real" i said. "i saw him last year." my classmates were intrigued by my response to this santa-isn't-real accusation from the cool kid. "yeah, i saw him delivering my presents, and he ate some cookies and left" i said. "what did he look like?" someone asked. "just like his helpers at the mall, he had his suit on and a big white beard, but i didn't get a good look at his face, i didn't want him to know i was watching, i didn't want to get in trouble."
this may seem hard to believe, but this story that i told in 3rd grade was a complete fabrication. that doesn't mean i didn't completely believe the story i was telling, i convinced myself to believe that it was true, because i wanted to believe in santa so badly. eventually i came to the hard truth, it was a hard time, but it has been a year now and i am in full recovery.
my question is: who is santa clause to you? the mythical santa clause is a man who gives you what you ask for as long as you're good. sound familiar to any other stories that you might have been told? because it seems to me that a lot of people look at someone else in the exact same manner. i used to think this way. to me, god was someone i went to when i needed something. if my prayer was answered, i must have been having a good week, didn't sin too much. if i didn't get what i asked, oops, must have slipped up a few too many times. it was a pretty consistant prayer: "give me this, give me that, i want this, i want that. p.s- if it's your will." didn't really know what that last part meant, so i didn't really mean it. how many times have you seen a kid sit on santa's lap and say: thanks for all the things you've given me over the years, i know you didn't have to do that, and i bet it's a hassle going up and down so many chimneys, so thanks for doing that too.
hard to believe, but god isn't santa. maybe you don't, but a lot of people look at god this way. maybe not exactly like santa, but as a figure who they can ask for things they need, and be a good person, then get to heaven. but god isn't santa. god doesn't come around once a year to give us what we need, and retreat to the north pole for the rest of the year. god doesn't want to be the guy who gives us what we need and leaves. and i'm not saying it's bad to ask god for things, i ask him for a lot of things, a lot of the time. but he wants us to be in a relationship with him, be faithful to him, and know that he will provide for our needs. he does it all the time without us even asking for it!
tis the season. remember what an amazing god we serve. he gave us his son, who lived and died on this earth so we have a chance to live with our god in heaven.

happy holidays
NCR

patience is..?

a virtue? if so, i don't consider myself very virtuous.. i have noticed recently how impatient i am, and i have to admit, it's pretty hypocritical.. i see it most when i'm driving. it doesn't even have to be anything that directly affects me on the road, if i see someone do something going the other direction turning the wrong way i think to myself: "what an idiot!!" and worse, if someone does something to me, like cut me off or slam on their brakes, i am ready to go to war with them. i always joke around that if there were some way of installing a rocket launcher on the front of my truck, i would do it. that way, when someone in front of me ticks me off while i'm driving, i can just push a button and blow them into history, and drive through the remains of what used to be their car. well, i know that's not the answer, but sometimes it sure seems like it would make me feel better.
sometimes the small things have much greater significance. i was thinking about how easily i can get angry at someone. the driving thing is just one example of many. lately i've been trying to focus on living my life like jesus. this should be a constant, i realize, but not much about my life is constant, so i take it day by day. as i read about jesus, i see a man who is mild mannered and loves people. rich, poor, lazy, busy, strong, weak, sick, powerful, lowly. he knows his purpose. he knows why he was sent to earth- to show the world the love of the father. story after story of jesus being tired at the end of the day, and someone coming to him in need of healing or just want to hear him speak the word. granted, even jesus had times when he didn't want to be around people, and even times when he was angry, but on a day to day basis of his life, he was the kind of person you want to be around. loving and caring. it's definitely not an easy thing to be loving and caring to everyone. especially in our busy lives. but i bet jesus still would be the same loving and caring person he was then, today. so i have to remind myself throughout the day, follow the footsteps of jesus. imagine the effect we would have on people if we treated them the way jesus would. just tonight i passed a man on the street. it's cold and wet in nashville. i should have offered him something. anything. even offered him a smile. i don't know what jesus would have done, but i doubt it was what i did; look the other way. i'm not saying we have to be a saint, forfeit all our earthly treasures and live in a monastary. but i know that i need to start loving people like jesus does. no bias, no prejudice. there's no good reason to not respect someone enough to show them jesus. we shouldn't save that for sundays. i need to start living a life that reflects the love that i've been shown. i have the perfect example.

praying for patience

NCR

better than no one..

a few days ago when i brushed the dust off my bible and opened it up, i turned to hosea.. not sure why, that's just where i ended up. i think it's partly because i wanted to read about a people not so different from myself, who turned away from god for a time, but god in his infinite love, eagerly anticipated them to return to a covenant with him. i'm not saying i was off the map, and i'm certainly not celebrating that, just celebrating god's love for me.
i can only speak for myself, but i have a feeling most of us are in the same boat on the subject of justification. what i mean is this- how often do we justify who we are and what we do, by comparing our lives to someone "less great" than we are? for example- "my spiritual life isn't where it should be, but i'm sure better off than ____." what is that?!!?! where to we get that? when did jesus ever say it's about being better than your neighbor? he didn't. not even close. but i still look at the guy next to me and have this sick idea that i am somehow better than him. it's wrong on so many levels.. with that mindset it's gonna be impossible to minister to anyone. self righteousness is no way to bring people to jesus. that IS the goal, and with that in mind, maybe we should learn from the best- jesus himself. the one and only person capable of having the thought "i'm not a sinner like you" didn't have it! not only did he not have it, he specifically reached out to the "lowest" of people. he didn't hang out with people like him, like we do. we place ourselves with people who are like us- make similar mistakes, have similar faith.. jesus went to the prostitutes, the thieves, the tax collectors, fishermen, lepers, cripples, and showed them the love of the father. somethin's gotta change. whose footsteps are we following? we're all children of the same god. we are all equally loved by the same god. he loves me just as much as he loves you. he loves me the same way he loves the guy in prison for murder, the same way he loves the drug addict, the cashier at the gas station, the lady who cut me off on the freeway. it's about time we start loving people the same way.
i'm not pointing fingers, i'm absolutely talking to myself. i just know that i see people everyday who need to be shown the love of christ, not to be looked down on because they're sinners. we need to accept that we're no better than anyone, and what god calls us to do is to love everyone. i know that i need to change my foolish mindset that i'm "better" than someone into displaying compassion on them and reaching out for fellowship and ministering to the people who god puts in my life.

humbled. searching.
NCR